Living Simple

a happy & healthy way of life

Archive for the tag “love”

Falling In Love All Over Again…

I met my boyfriend in the summer of 2007. I was recently divorced and not looking for anything serious. I had spent the past 7 months in a small apartment learning how to be on my own for the first time in my life. I had never really dated or lived out my wild college days and I was making up for lost time. I turned 29 during the time I was moving out of my 7 year marriage and into the single life. So in my mind I would allow myself the one last year of my 20s to be wild and free before settling into my more serious 30s.  When I first met him I didn’t think much about it because I was focused on meeting another guy.  That “other guy” was seriously all wrong for me and eventually we were to meet up again. He approached me showing confidence and a bit of a flirty side that immediately intrigued me. I admit I gave him a hard time at first because after 7 months of going out and partying I was starting to get burned out. I didn’t want another fling, I had decided I was going to just learn to be alone for a while, but he was persistent. After some time I found myself in an unexpected situation…I didn’t want to be in a relationship because I had a plan to be alone for a while…but I was falling for this guy. 

I tried to end things one night but after a few tears I finally admitted that I loved him and couldn’t really even explain why. A few months later we moved in together. It all seemed to be happening fast and the first couple of years were not always easy. We still had a lot to learn about each other and there were times when I know we both questioned if we wanted to stay in it.  Last year, around the 4 year mark, he blind sided me with his reasons for possibly never wanting to get married again….he has been married twice before. I am a girl who values a full commitment, I want the full package and that includes marriage.  So needless to say I was hurt but I have stayed anyway.  After much debate in my mind I decided I love him more than the idea of  marriage. I have went through some struggles of self-doubt because I want the man I love to want to marry me but I know he loves me. We have a stronger relationship than some married couples I know.

So here we are starting the 5th year together and I can’t help but think how much I love this man. I am so thankful for all that he is and all that does for me and my daughter.  We may not always agree on everything and we have some different hobbies and interests but that is what keeps the relationship interesting. We have fun together and we have learned a lot from each other but most importantly we respect each other.  When I think of the years I have spent with him and where we are now I know I am right where I need to be.   I no longer complicate things by trying to make plans or push to do what everyone else thinks we should do. We are moving at our own pace and letting our love mature like a fine wine.  As I become comfortable with where our relationship is right now, instead of  worrying about where it’s going, I find myself relaxing and really enjoying myself. 

You only live this life once so you must make it good. Learn something new everyday! Learn from your mistakes, learn from other people, learn to live in the moment and learn to love.  On this day I find myself thinking of him while he is away….thoughts of what I have learned in our time together and simply falling in love with him all over again.

Fall in Love with Yourself

I have often heard people say, you must love yourself before you can love someone else. This is true on so many levels!  When I was a teenager and even throughout most of my twenties I felt this need to be liked by others.  If someone didn’t like me I had to know why. It hurt my feelings to think someone didn’t like me for no particular reason, but there are people in the world who are just that way.  I just kept repeating, you can’t please everyone.

Over time I have found, sometimes trying too hard to be nice, friendly, smart or funny can be the very reason someone finds you annoying.  I remember when I was about 28-years-old something really clicked inside of me and I knew I wasn’t happy with myself or the life I was living.  I didn’t like me!  So how could I expect anyone else to like me? It was not easy to make the major decision to change my life for the better but looking back almost 6 years now I know it was the right choice.

My choice gave me a chance to find independence and freedom to grow.  I learned to trust and depend on myself and my own abilities to survive and thrive!  For the first time I really spent time alone.  In the beginning there were many struggles, tears and frustrations, but over time I found my way.  The need to please everyone around me was not as strong.  Probably the hardest part was getting past the need to do what my parents thought was best.  My parents helped me through many of my struggles and I felt I owed them a right to have a say in my life.  I wanted to make them proud of me.

I am finally coming to a point where I happy with my simple life. I don’t need a fancy education, career, house or car.  Of course I want more for myself, but I also know I must be grateful and happy with where I am before I can move forward.  When I am true to myself I discover those who love me for me, but even more importantly I discover the love I have for myself.

   Think Like a Tree

  by Karen I. Shragg

   Soak up the sun
   Affirm life’s magic
   Be graceful in the wind
   Stand tall after a storm
   Feel refreshed after it rains
   Grow strong without notice
   Be prepared for each season
   Provide shelter to strangers
   Hang tough through a cold spell
  Emerge renewed at the first signs of spring
  Stay deeply rooted while reaching for the sky               
 Be still long enough to
 hear your own leaves rustling.

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